Being a mom is such a wonderful thing. It’s the best and satisfying unpaid lifelong career. However, with this satisfying career comes great responsibilities. You have to keep yourself together all the time in order to keep everyone else’s life together. You spend your nights awake making sure your little babies are prepared for the next day. Imagine how hard it must be for single moms who do not have the support of a husband.
Day-to-day duties for a solo parent are no different than they are for a married one: coping with sleeplessness, finding child care, paying bills. Only difference is you’re on your own. Yes, single moms have both a financial responsibility as well as the responsibility of raising their child all by themselves. However, many single moms would like to be married as well or at least have someone special consistent in their lives. This is where the issue arises about single moms and dating.
Being a single mom usually means more effort on finding a husband. Men may see this as desperation. They see that a woman is just looking for a father figure for her kids, so they take advantage of her or don’t even bother going further into the relationship.
Don’t despair; here are some quick tips for you to attract a great relationship as a single mom.
Don’t let your role as a single mother limit you.
It is easy yet counterproductive to get caught up in what you can or can’t do on a date just because you are a single mom. Whether this means a second martini or dancing until 4AM on a 3rd date, don’t think things that were appropriate before you were a mom are no longer for you. With a good babysitter, it is all fair game–except, perhaps, clothing from the junior department!
Do be completely present when on a date.
Even when your mind is on overload, stay in the moment. Focus on your date and don’t worry about how your kids are doing with the babysitter. Concentrate on what he is saying—and not how you are going to respond. Listen with your mind wide open. Don’t start to ask yourself if you can picture him as your kid’s step dad just yet. Take the experience in with your entire being. One step at a time!
Do look like a sexy and polished single woman.
When going on a date, get out of mom-mode and into sexy-single-woman-mode. It is important that you dress in a classy way those appeals to men and hints at your sexuality. Trade the sweatpants for stilettos and please leave the “mom jeans” in the closet! You were a hot mama before you were a momma. Bring her back!
Do devote some time to dating.
If you want to find a great relationship, you’ll need to get your priorities straight. Yes, in many cases, your kids always need to come first, but make sure your date feels like there is room for him in your life. You have to show him that you have the time, space, and true desire for a relationship. If you want it, make it happen!
Don’t move too fast with showing him your world. Whatever you do, don’t introduce your kids to someone unless you are certain the relationship will be serious, as you don’t want to disappoint them if they become attached to a guy who will soon become your ex! The same goes for talking in detail about a date with your children. Remember, your kids are not your girlfriend, relationship coach, or therapist, so don’t reveal too much about the intricacies of your dating life.
And if things do get serious………….
Don’t kid yourself—it is not going to be easy. Be positive, but realistic. Every day isn’t a picnic no matter what relationship you are in. However, dating with children and starting blended families can take quite the toll on the success of a relationship. Expect difficulty. This is real life–not The Brady Bunch.
If you keep these simple, straightforward, dating tips for single moms in mind, you’ll be on your way to loving your love life—no matter what your status.